Stuck in Neutral...

So it seems that I am currently struggling with 'progression' as driving instructors would call it. 

Right now, the summer of 2012 is not panning out how it was supposed to, this was supposed to be THE year of crushing, get my degree out the way, finally spend the whole summer in North Wales, get out into the mountains and get all those amazing routes experienced.

What the motherflip has happened!?!?!? Pabbay set me up perfectly, did two more E4s and got loads of good mileage in too! But then this massive, huge cloud came and messed it all up. The weather totally killed my drive, and seemed to dampen the fire inside. Every time I stoked it up to go out to try a hard route I want to do, it turns out to be wet! 

Having just got back from a few days at home with my family, I kept getting the question every recently graduated student (unemployed person) dreads; "Soo, have you got a proper job yet?". I currently am working as a freelance instructor at a High Ropes Course. The work is fairly enjoyable, pretty well paid and beautifully flexible. But none of that matters, because the weather has been so crappy that I may as well be earning loads of money so that I can run away somewhere sunny over the winter. I don't have a burning desire to instruct, its fun and all that, but I think I would struggle to remain motivation for my own climbing if I spent every day taking punters climbing monday-friday. 

But here is the truly burning question... What the bloody hell do I want to do?? Do I need to worry?? What the bloody hell do I want to do??

Either way, in a complete turnaround from feeling like I had forever left to climb all those dream routes after Pabbay, I now feel like the summer is running away from me and that all too soon I'll be working full time and winter will have North Wales in its' icey grip... This feeling is exacerbated by the fact that a lot of my time is taken up by bloody driving lessons. Additionally, I said I was interested in going to the Alps at the end of the summer, thinking that I'd nail learning to drive around climbing loads in the warm, sunny, Welsh summer. Now it seems like this will be the time when North Wales is bathed in golden sunshine whilst I'm in the Alps, trudging up massive tottering pieces of choss/climbing some amazing big routes. I don't know whether its something I want to do or not, this alpinism lark.

You didn't hear this from me, but I'm not the world's most natural driver. I may as well have said I don't have a penis, but hey. Its a frustrating/interesting learning curve really, breaking driving down into things I am good at, and things I am bad at is very much like trying to improve at climbing. In fact, having a driving instructor is a good insight into good coaching. It also reinforces the old adage "train your weaknesses", except I have someone forcing me to do the stuff I am rubbish at. So it's not all bad, but it does take up valuable climbing time, and use up literally valuable currency. In addition to this, I have recently learnt my younger brother passed his driving test first time after about 20 lessons. I have had close to 20 lessons, and I am not ready to take a test... What the HELL!?!?! Well its a bloody good effort anyway. Either way, I really wish I had learnt to drive whilst I was 17 or at uni, if you are reading this as a 16 year old who, like my younger self, thinks its crap to learn to drive because everyone else is. Get over yourself, it is a total ball-ache learning when you are older. Plus you look like a total loser. Bad times.

Right now, sitting at home struggling to find a climbing partner, I feel like I have missed yet more good weather, but with any luck the weather will take a turn for the better and suddenly driving will click and all of a sudden, BOOSH! 2012 will be back on track...

Until then, I'll keep on keeping on and hopefully I'll come across a dry testpiece soon enough!